Sexy is an adjective, not a size! Where to find Plus Size Lingerie to fit your form!

I recently engaged in debate (argument) that a plus sized woman can be sensual and if so inclined, can wear some sexy lingerie that expresses her thoughts and maybe her wants. The person (closed minded and shallow) felt that wearing revealing garments was best left to younger (thinner) women.  Admittedly  this is an opinion that a lot of plus sized women express, that they are too fat to wear anything revealing. This is were I disagree. I feel that a woman of any size can wear a beautiful piece of lingerie if she feels comfortable in her own skin and is  accepting of herself the way she is.   Wearing a beautiful matching bra and pantie set, or maybe rocking out the g-string, can be something you do just for you, that helps boost your confidence. No one needs to know but you!  A few weeks ago I was approached by  Plus Size Lingerie Boutique to review an item from their site. I agreed to do so, but only if I was allowed complete honesty. To be clear, I was not paid to review the item, my goal was to find another place for plus sized women to get their sexy on! And get my sexy on is what I did.  They offer a wide range of choices, prices and styles to fit anyone's budget. You can choose something that is romantic or embrace your naughty side with some liquid leather and peek a boo bra! Best of all is the range of sizes. From 1x-6x in some items.  I choose to review the Executive Sweet Babydoll. The material is microfiber (best to hand wash no dryer)and has some lovely ruffle details. I like that the straps were adjustable. The little panties that came with it also had the ruffle detail and were surprisingly comfortable. I was most appreciative that it was not a thong because that would be out of my comfort level. My only complaint is that  I ordered the 3x-4x,which is my usual size, but found that it was actually a little to big for me.   What you cannot see in this picture is the provocative slit in the back, gives a little glance at the panties!               Overall, I was quite impressed.

Executive Sweet Babydoll

Check out the site for yourself and explore your options, perhaps unleash your inner goddess or keep her hidden until you want to share!

So you have discovered you are fat. Now what does this mean?

When did you first find out you were plus sized, fat, big boned, voluptuous, or curvy? You choose which adjective best describes how you feel about your size and ponder that question. Now your probably asking yourself  "what is she talking about? I just need to look down and  know how big I am". I can look down all I want but since I was 13 I have not seen anything past my breasts.  I only see my feet when I am sitting in my chair. Then the next response would be.." I can tell how big I am by looking in the mirror". That maybe be true, but let's be honest here, the mirror is just a reflection not a definition of who your are. No, if you are like most women (or men) you determined just how fat (or thin) you are by judging and comparing yourself with others. Whether it is from your peer group, what you see on television or just random strangers, you compare yourself to your own standard of beauty. How many of us have walked into large gathering and start to compare our bodies to other women, to scan the crowed to see if maybe there is someone larger then we are? How many of us pull in our unsuspecting husbands into our poor self esteem issues and say to them "Honey is she bigger then me"? Okay maybe that  last one is just me. I have someone in my life who actually uses my weight as a stepping stone to build their own self esteem. They feel better about themselves because my pants are a size larger then theirs.  My message here is an easy one to say but a hard one to follow:

                            STOP COMPARING YOUR SIZE TO OTHER WOMEN. 

Told you it is easy for me to say, hard for all to follow. Embrace the beauty that is uniquely you. Don't compare yourself because you are smaller or larger then someone. Be the best person you are mean't to be. Learn to accept yourself the way you are, change the things that make you unhappy, love the life you are given and whenever you are feeling down, make a baby laugh! Trust me, once you are rewarded by giggling baby nothing else compares. And most of all remember:
                             
                            WEIGHT IS A NUMBER, NOT A PERSONALITY TRAIT

I have a confession....

I have a confession to make.  As I take a deep breathe and then exhale, I am going to share this with you. I  forget that I am fat. There now I have said it out loud.  I feel so much better now that I have got that off my chest and out in the open.  All kidding aside. I truly do not think of myself as fat, or  that there is a thin person inside of me struggling to get out. I just accept me as me.  I realize society at large perceives me as being a person with a weight problem and for some that means I need to be fixed. I am not broken.  I am healthy, both physically and mentally. I am capable of giving and receiving love. I have a good job, a great family and a husband who thinks I am sexy as hell.  It was a struggle to reach this nirvana, but now that I am here I am not letting anyone take it away from me. I refuse to allow society to place any limitations on me, because there is nothing that I cannot do at my current weight. In fact, I find that I am more comfortable with the person I am now then I was in my early  20s. I am not running around trying to fit into a mould of a perception of a perfect woman.  I am the exact woman I was meant to be.  My mission will continue to be, and strive for women to accept themselves as they are.  Now if you excuse me I have to get back to my  plan to parachute over Paris. The problem with this plan is not my weight but my intense fear of heights.  This one is taking a lot longer to overcome then the numbers on my scale.  One day at a time people, one day at a time.

50 Shades of Impossible

For awhile I have not been able to write anything. Life derailed my progress, but I am back on track and ready to take on the world (cue inspirational music!) The worst was no internet for almost a week. After talking the children down and explaining what life was before we had internet,( my son asking how I raise my pet dinosaur), the repair man came. He was raised to god like status, high fived and kissed by one an all and we are back in cyber space. During my brief intermission from blogging I had the opportunity to read

50 Shades of Grey, all 3 books.

Now if you are not familiar with these books I will quickly surmise the premise for you. 

Young woman, meets rich damaged controlling man, they engage in "kinky fuckery" in an attempt for young woman to fix rich man's inner demons through bondage and live happily ever after. 

If you have figured out I am not a big fan of the books, not just because of the unrealistic dialogue or the fact that the male "hero" can have sex multiple times in a row without needing a nap, it's what I find to be the underlying message. "I want to be with you, but you need to change and conform to my idealized standards of what a woman should be". For instance in the book the male character is always making demands on the female character from what she wears, to whom her friends are to even what and when she should eat because she is too thin.  I for one never desire to have anyone control me that way no matter how attractive or rich they are. I think that being a woman (not just a curvaceous plus sized woman), society already tries conform to an image that I am not comfortable with and these books bring up these feelings in me.  I would like to see a series of book where the woman is powerful and the guy is spending his time biting his lip in anticipation

I want dessert..the world wants me to eat broccoli...

Let me start by saying this, I am not anti-vegetable or a hater of fruit, but I have noticed something that occurs at restaurants all over the world from greasy spoons to high class establishments. Maybe you have as well....
Do you ever find when you are eating dinner with a bunch of women you alter what you really want to eat to keep in fashion with the latest diet that everyone is following. Are you counting points when you are not even on weight watchers.  I have often experienced when ordering  the "I will just have water" , when dammit I just really want a coke. Not a diet coke, nope a honest to goodness, super sugary, bubbly goodness of happiness in glass.  Or my other favorite is "I will have the salad, dressing on the side" instead of "I want french fries with gravy and hey if you have some bacon, throw that on too!" I have experienced the pressure because I am plus sized I should be actively dieting all the time.  When I made the decision that I could not change the world's attitude, I would change mine, I decided not to make myself feel bad because I want to have dessert.  My own dessert, not  sharing it will 4 other girls to help minimize their guilt because the have fallen off the diet train. What I am trying to say is that I do not want food to be my enemy. I have been there done that and came away with an eating disorder that ruled my life for many years. I want to enjoy the food I eat savor both healthy and sweet.  I don't eat out everyday, nor do I have dessert at home so when I am out, I sometimes like to indulge in foods I normally don't get to.  I encourage you to eat healthy but eat the foods you enjoy, and stop worrying what everyone else thinks.

Boudoir Beauty...or Releasing the Inner Goddess

Have you ever been curious about experiencing the boudoir photo shoot and maybe secretly wanted to explore your inner goddess? Have you let those negative, self deprecating thoughts enter your head and think "Oh my goodness, I could never to do that, I am too fat". Me too! I hate having my picture taken, let alone stripping down to some sexy lingerie and posing for provocative pictures. When I started my metamorphosis to body acceptance, I started to experience a shift in my world of negativity, and decided to take some risks. I decided do to the boudoir photo shoot. I channeled my inner Tess Munster and booked an appointment to release my inner vixen onto film. I thought I would share with you what I learned about the whole process and then share some pictures (please be kind) of the the photo shoot.

• Meet with the photographer first. See if this person is someone you feel comfortable seeing you in lingerie. Discuss the kind of shots you are willing to do and maybe body parts that you would like minimized. I was lucky to work with Carina at Breathless Photography. She met with me before hand to discuss everything that was involved and what my expectations were. The day of the shoot, she made the experience enjoyable, dare I say fun, and most important LIBERATING!!!
• Wear something you want to see in pictures! Whether it is something you have hiding in a drawer waiting for that special occasion, or you order something new, maybe from Hips and Curves, which is what I did. The clothes definitely helped raise the sexy factor.
• If hair and make up are not your thing (I am definitely challenged in these areas) get your styling done by a professional who know what works well in pictures. If money is tight, try looking up tutorials on youtube that teach how to create a smokey eye for dramatic effect or head down to your local beauty school where they often have discounted prices for hair styling.
• Most important DO THIS FOR YOU AND HAVE FUN! I did not do these pictures for my husband (he appreciated them), I did them for me, as a celebration of my body and how far I have come to accept myself just the way I am. 

All pictures were taken by Breathless Photography

My love/hate affair with SHAPEWEAR!!!

I have a love/hate relationship with anything called shapewear! I strive to be comfortable and find that most shapewear is uncomfortable, binding, close to cutting of the circulation to my legs and not something I even want to attempt to put on at any point. Please do not get me started on control top panty hose. The only thing they control is my ability to properly digest food. But (there is always a but), I do admit that at times I want a slightly smoother tummy if the dress is particularly form fitting. Historically women have been trying to cinch in their waist since the 17th century. Centuries of needless suffering in an effort to achieve an idolized shape which still continues to this day. 

In the 1900's came the introduction of rubber which was believed the help reduce your size.I believe probably it was an effective tool because it increased the amount the women would sweat!

 In the 1940's designers realized that women actually needed some air circulation to prevent repeated episodes of fainting and introduced a girdle that was porous and allowed movement. Still uncomfortable and not very attractive.

In the 1970's and 80's the rage became control top panty hose. They were expensive, often rolled down and easily would get runs in them rendering them good for straining paint and possible robbing of banks.

                             The revolution for a lot of women was when Sara Blakely introduced:

 Spanx offered what women were looking for, a well made garment, that was comfortable and prevented the hated "roll down the tummy" undergarment disaster. Unfortunately I am not meant for Spanx. I find them too constricting and I do not possess enough coordination to use the little slit that allows you to pee without having to take the panties down. And to take them down requires more effort and time then I have in a tiny little bathroom cubicle. The lines to the toilet are long enough without having to wait for me to grunt, groan and attempt to pull up the "high waisted power panty". More often then not I surrender and shove them into my purse.

My last attempt at shapewear was successful for me. I found the smooth and chic comfort brief  fromCity Chic.

 I find that it holds me in where I need to be held, allows me to pull them down as needed and better yet, pull them back up without losing my dignity. I am sure you have had similar experiences and I would love to hear from you! Please share your stories or tips where to find great shapewear!

You are good enough!

Someone asked me why I don't just do a blog about fashion for the plus sized woman. My answer is there are many wonderful bloggers who's focus is on the aspect, but for me it is more important that women learn how to love and accept their bodies the way they are. I have several plus sized women friends who dress in impeccably stylish up to date fashions but still diminish their worth by saying terrible demeaning comments, slowly eroding their self value. Why do we do this to ourselves? Our value is not wrapped up in our weight. Our value should be judged by our actions, how we treat others in this world, what we do to make it a better place..NOT if we are a size 10! I spent far too many years hating myself because of a number on a scale or  the label on my clothes. I don't want another woman to waste that kind of time. I want you to have your epiphany today, NOW! I want you to embrace yourself and everything that goes into making you fabulous. If you need help finding your way, ask for help. I will be happy to be your support, your friend to find the way to positive body imagery. If you have found your way, help out other women by stopping them from expressing self hate.
To quote Confucius : "Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it". Find this beauty in you.

Embrace the Coral

The colour that seems to be the rage this season is CORAL. At first I was not sure this was a trend I wanted to embrace. I was worried it might be too bright, too orange or too limiting for my wardrobe. How can I work a coral piece into my clothing rotation that seems to be mostly filled with teals and browns? The answer...quite easily! What I have found is some beautiful pieces that will compliment clothing I already have. I have included some fun pieces that I think will work well this season and for more seasons to come.

ASOS Curve Dress 

Felicity Poncho Top Sealed with a Kiss

Pennington's Color Block Sheath Dress 

Eddy and Bri

Coral Skater Dress from Your Big Sisters Closet

                             

Eddy and Bri..totally understands me!

I have been accused of being frugal..okay the word that was used was cheap. I have 3 children, all boys who are either growing, eating or doing both simultaneously! I need to find clothing bargains whenever possible. I have to admit what orignially attracted me to Eddy and Bri, was the promise of affordable fashion without having to sacrifice quality. They have nothing on the site over 100 dollars! According to their own mission statement, they want "plus sized women to be fashionable and feel good about what they are wearing". I believe they have accomplished their goal. They sell new and resale clothing. I was able to get an Ashley Stewart tank and an Old Navy Sweater for a combined total of 18 dollars! Both arrived exactly as promised! What really made me a believer was their customer service. The site offered a flat rate of 15 dollars for international shipping. When I paid, I was actually charged 16 dollars. When I pointed that out to their customer service department, thinking they just had not updated the site recently, they apologized and then refunded me the dollar difference. I was pleasantly surprised and pleased that they want their customers to walk away from the shopping experience happy. I thought that I would include some of their fashions but go and check it out for yourself!

Terry Wrap Cardigan
12.00

Neon Colorblock Shirt
20.00

Virtu...Australia knows how to rock the clothes!

When you live in a small community where your choices for plus sized clothes are limited, I like to explore all possible options for fashion, and that has taken me to Australia via the world of online shopping. I love the attitude of Australian designers and the products they offer today's woman. They seem to understand that curvy women need clothes that fit their bodies, not just larger clothes. Today I want to mention Virtu who understand the need of a plus size gal!
Virtu, by the company's definition means "rare and beautiful" and they believe every women is just that regardless of size. They offer different versatile pieces from everyday wear, business casual and some standout pieces that are truly stunning. They carry sizes 12-24 (USA sizing equivalent would be size 8-20) If you are unsure of your size they have a chart you can use for a proper fit. Shipping world wide is $30 dollars. My favourite is the Tahlia tunic top. My guilty pleasure is the top has pockets, so I have place to store my cell phone! I like the quality of the material as I wore it all day and it did not wrinkle. I have included some pictures of me wearing the top. You can see that the top lasted the day much better then I did!

Talhia Tunic from Virtu
Jeggings from Forever 21                                                                
Shoes from Silhouettes
Right now Virtu is having a sale!

One Day Only - 25% off all full priced styles!
Saturday 17th March - Available In Store & Online!

Plus Size Clothing - Virtu - Promotions

www.virtushop.com.au

Plus size clothing in sizes 12 to 24, for your life after work. Shop online for a range of plus size clothing including tops, pants, dresses, sleepwear and much more.

These boots are made for walking, that's just what I'll do..if I can find a pair that fit

I love boots, unfortunately the love is not reciprocal. I am challenged to find a pair that fit and are in my price range. These two requirements are rarely met because I have wide calves. 18 inch calves to be exact which is where I have run into difficulty. I live in a very small community so I have turned to the internet and the world of on line shopping to attempt to fill the void in my closet. This has been met with so/so results.  What I have learned is every site has their own definition of what a wide calf boot is. I have made the mistake of ordering  boots that were "wide calf"  that I could not get the zipper up past my ankle. To insure that this does not happen again and to avoid my disappointment, I have learned to properly measure my leg. Many cites include video tutorials to show you how to find a boot that fits. Duo boots  in England have an excellent teaching tool (just remember UK sizing is different)to help you find a proper fit. I did find a pair of the exact boots I wanted at Torrid in their clearance. I ordered them, but had a terrible time getting the zipper done up by myself  (cue sweet husband yanking up the zipper) every time I wanted to wear them. Once on, they felt great but it also mean't they stayed on all night.Then the worst thing happened, I broke the heal. I tried to find another pair but either the boots were too much or the shipping was 3 times the cost of the boot (don't get me started on the duty). Then a friend suggested that I just get them repaired. Not only was the cost of the repair cheaper then ordering new ones, they were able to add an inch to the zipper area and I gained my independence doing up my own boots.  If you have a pair of boots that are maybe a little tight or need of minor repairs, try having them fixed before throwing them away. If you know of any other online stores that might have reasonably priced boots (that ship to Canada) please leave a comment. My closet always has room for one more pair!

Teach by Example

For a very long time, I waged war against myself. I called myself names, usually names full of hate such as fat, ugly or obese. I believed that the only person I was hurting was myself. What I failed to notice was the lesson I was teaching to my children. I was showing them how to damage their own self esteem. We struggle to protect our children from the world around them, to keep them safe, to guide them, to love them, to help them grow.  We don't want to hurt them, but when we show them how we don't value ourselves, they can begin to question their own self worth. And if you think it only impacts girls, you would be wrong. Boys have just as many body issues and develop their own battles with self hate. I am the mother of 3 boys. I watched my eldest struggle with concerns about his weight and the fear of being fat. Some of it was peer pressure, but some he learned from me by hearing me say hurtful things about myself based only on my appearance.  Let's strive to teach our children to be healthy in body, mind and soul by example. Teach them tolerance, acceptance and self respect.  Teach them self esteem. Have a healthy view of yourself, have a sense of self worth, have a positive outlook, feel satisfied about yourself (most of the time) and set realistic obtainable goals. Be the person now you would want your kids to grow up to be.

One of my biggest regrets was not learning to sew. I remember be in Grade 8 and being told girls had to take home economics which translated to cooking, then sewing. Boys got wood working and machine shop. So I got out my soap box and began preaching about the misogynistic society in which we lived trying to keep this woman in her place. My righteous indignation took over my common sense and I promptly failed the sewing portion of the class, but  felt justified  because I was a strong independent woman teaching society a lesson. Truth is no one cared, my grade point average dropped and my mom has the ugliest, misshaped pot holders ever made. The point I am trying to make is that I wished I had the skills to alter clothes to fit my body properly. Too often I see plus sized or for that matter, any woman, wearing clothes that are too big, too tight and poorly fitting their body. Plus sized designers have a unique challenge when it comes to making their clothes work for a variety of women. This is because we curvy women have a variety of shapes and sizes and despite designers best efforts, one 2x blouse will not properly fit all 2x women.  Because I cannot sew (bless my sweet husband for sewing on my buttons), I have found a seamstress who fits my clothes to my body shape. If you don't want the expense of altering your clothes, I suggest a good thing to learn is your proper measurements.    

When shopping for clothes on line, you can use your measurements to help you choose your correct size. Most clothing stores have sizing charts that tell you what measurements each of the sizes are made to. If you need to know more specific measurement, contact the staff's site for more information. Quick tip - Remember that international sizing is different. If the site does not have a conversion chart, here is one you can use, http://www.onlineconversion.com/clothing_womens.htm.
When shopping in store, make sure you try on the clothes. I know some women who are embarrassed and just want to get in, get out and not have to talk to any clerks. But when you take the time to try on the clothes, you can see how the fabric falls and what the cut feels like. Walk around a bit in the garment to see how it moves with your body. That way you can avoid clothing that clings were you don't want it to, becomes shapeless and does nothing to flatter your curves.

Thank you for supporting me on Facebook

I have decided to have a giveaway on March 3rd to celebrate all my wonderful fans who are continuing support me with wonderful words of encouragement.
Here is what you need to do...go to my facebook page Curvy PLUS ME, like the page if you have not already and comment what prize you would prefer, or if have no preference just say both. I think that is pretty easy.
And to be fair, I will send your prize to where ever you are! I hate when a giveaway is country specific. If you have already liked the page, you still need to leave a comment on which prize you would like.

The two prizes are: A beautiful dress jacket from Pennington's. The size is 1X but it will comfortably fit at size 2X and a gorgeous necklace and earring set from Ricki's

Thanks for your support!

What I wore today...

As I get older, I find that my fashion style is changing and ever evolving. I love shopping, both in store and on line and design outfits that I want to wear to express my style and taste. My sweet patient husband would probably tell you I like to shop too much, sometimes I think I don't shop enough, but the key is to find balance.

The balance for me is having clothes that last through several seasons, are affordable, they don't look dated, out of style, or are poorly made. I am a huge fan of the "sales" rack, whether in store or on line. I like to go there first and see what treasures I can find tailored to my budget. Another way is going to a local thrift store. This one took me a little longer to adapt to because by my husband's definition I am a clothes snob. Once I got over my initial prejudice I was astounded at how many plus sized clothes I could find that were name brand and in excellent condition. Once of my new go-to-places to shop that I have mentioned in a previous post is fatshionxchange. A place where you can buy, sell or trade new or gently used clothes and accessories. I thought I would share with you my latest purchase a dress I got from one of the sellers. The dress arrived exactly as promised and it has quickly become one my favourites. 

Dress from Fatshionexhange
Sweater: Addition elle
Pants: Kiyonna
Boots: David Tate

Tess Munster

The journey to body acceptance is not easy, it is ongoing with no real destination. What I mean is as much as you try to love myself, there are always going to be challenges, days when self hate rears its ugly head and you have to start again. But you don't have to make the journey alone. If you are lucky you can find a role model, some one you look to who has embraced themselves and show you a world of possibilities.

 For me that person is Tess Munster, plus sized model and activist for empowerment of all women.

She is vibrant, sexy, non apologetic and a person I would like most to emulate in my quest for positive body acceptance. Her story is not without pain or struggle in becoming a plus sized model, but that is what helps me to identify with her. She has faced criticism from people in her life who are suppose to love her the most, not only to overcome, but succeed.  Her strength of character is just as beautiful as the face she shows to the world.

Tess modeling for Sealed with a Kiss Designs

I wrote to her to thank her for showing me that beauty does not have a size and she took the time to write me back with some beautiful encouraging words.

Tess Munster- Facebook Pictures

To quote Mae West...." the best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it". Tess shows you how to do it, how to do it well and there is nothing stopping you for doing it too!

Sometimes I have to ask WTF?!?

I am trying to understand why some fashion designers don't want my money. Why they stop their lines at a size 12 or occasionally, as if they are doing me a personal favour, a size 16. I am confused because I thought that besides being able to express themselves creatively, they want to make a profit. I thought that I should do my job to enlighten them about a "huge" opportunity they are missing out on.

Why Designer Should Embrace my Curves!!

1. I have money to spend. I am a professional woman with a reasonably good income. Last time I checked skinny money was the same as fat.
2. There are more women my size. We are everywhere!
3. Plus sized shoppers are loyal. If you have a good product, well made, we will stick by you. We will follow you on facebook/twitter, your choice of social networking. We will share your sales and encourage our friends (see point 2) to shop there as well.
4. We like clothes. Most plus size women I talk to have the same problem that I have..too many. If I find something I like that fits, I probably will buy two of them in different colors for fear that I may not find it later.

Now that being said (please feel free to comment and add your own), let's address some of the designers who try to design for the plus size of me

1. I don't need large, shapeless clothes with fabrics from the cutting room floor made into ugly moo moos. I want fresh vibrant fabrics, tailored to fit my body correctly.
2. I want models I can identify with like my current girl crush Tess Munster. When she models clothes, I can visualize myself in them.
3. Give me lots of options. Some women don't like fabric that clings to the body, other women do..lets accommodate all!
4. Provide correct measurements..for instance don't just put as a description on a pair of boots as "wide calf", whose wide calf are we referring to?

A thank you to the companies that have listened, responded and designs clothes that I want to wear and feel good wearing. I hope to continue to showcase them on my blog.  I have noticed a slow gradual change with an increase in more options for the plus sized woman, but I believe more change needs to happen.

Kiyonna Clothing - Stylish Plus Size Women's Apparel

When I first started on my journey of loving my body, just the way it is, I wanted to dress to celebrate it. In order to do that I needed to look at my clothes and see what kind of statement I was trying to make. The statement I was making then was "camouflage body under layers of fabric". There was no definition, no joy, no self esteem  in my clothes. I did not want to make an impact. I did not want to be noticed. As my mind set changed I started looking at different  on line sites to help me find my way. I found Kiyonna, and they helped me to look my best. If you are not familiar with Kiyonna, they are an american based company from Anaheim California. They do have an actual store front, but for me on line was my only option. Their goal is "to make your feel amazing". Specializing in sizes from  0x-5x, there is always someone to help you get the right fit, size and style. They have made a positive impact on this woman's life! If you register with them you get 20% off your first order, insight to new products and sales and even a special birthday discount. One of my favourite features is the Real Curve Cuties. You look at real women in your size range, including height, to give you an idea of how the clothing might look on your body. The clothing is well made, stylish, going from everyday to formal wear. For me it started with a coat from their sales section and has progressed to several pieces I can wear on the week end or to work. One of the fun features about Kiyonna is they love to play games with their fans to win gift certificates or clothing. Maybe I am little bias, I actually won a dress from one of the games played over the holidays. Explore the site yourself, feel free to ask questions and you will get a personalized  answer because they truly care about the women they dress.

The coat that started my love affair with
Kiyonna

Scalloped Boudoir Lace Dress
I am 5'3 and the dress is 2x

I will...

I will love myself, my whole self, the flaws, perceived imperfections all that makes me...me
I will make love with the lights on and be worshiped as voluptuous and worthy
I will not wear black to hide my curves
I will get a sexy little black dress that emphasizes my cleavage
I will not attempt to wearing clothing that will "draw the eyes to my face"
Feel free to check out my ass
I will not eat to fill my soul..I will eat to feed my hunger
I will savour food..it is not my enemy, it nourishes my body
I will not devalue or demean myself because I am plus sized
I will not allow you to do it either!
I will take care of myself, my whole being
I will dance if the mood moves me..even if I am the only one who hears the music
I will hug more, cry less
I will never again ask the question.."does this make me look fat?" because I don't care what the answer is

What is your personal mantra?

I think that it is important when coming to acceptance of yourself it cannot just be about your physical looks, it needs to happen internally as well. It is great to look beautiful on the outside, but if you are still engaged in the internal struggle of self hatred then you still have a ways to go to achieve peace. I would like to share with you one of the tools I use to help me silence the nagging feelings of doubt. I use a personal mantra.

A mantra comes form Sanskrit and means " a tool/instrument of thought". It can be sounds, syllables, words or groups of words that are repeated with the goals of creating " a positive transformation".
You can say them allowed or voiced internally.  How I use the mantra is I think of something positive about myself and will repeat it several times, almost like a chant to help me feel better about myself, or even a situation I might be in. Think of it as positive self talk.
                                                     Some ideas you could use:
                                                  - I look beautiful today
                                                  - My opinion matters
                                                  - Someone loves me just the way I am
                                                  - I have wonderful friends who support me
                                                  - I am more then numbers on a scale
 Find what works for you and  believe in the power those words hold. You may need to say them several times to gain strength from the mantra and to push past the negative thoughts. It will take some practice, but it can be a tool to banish the negative self talk that comes far too easily to most of us.

SEALED WITH A KISS DESIGNS...Fashion for every budget

Sealed with a Kiss Designs is an american company on a mission. A mission to make plus sized women feel beautiful. They designs clothes that are fierce, trendy and affordable. They know how to respect a women's shape, embrace her curves, and rock out her sex appeal. I have 3 growing boys so not only is my house extremely loud, I don't have a lot of disposable income and I don't want to sacrifice style. With SWAK I don't have to. The clothes range in sizes from 14-36. They ship world wide and if you spend over $75, shipping is free. I recommend signing up for their emails because you will get information on sales and 15% off your first order. They have good quality products, affordable prices and excellent customer service. If you post a fashion related question on facebook, you will often get a personalize response from Sarah, their director of marketing. One of my favorite features is when Sarah models the clothes.  She demonstrates how the clothes work on a real woman's body, creating outfits to suit her frame. I was so influenced by how she pulled off the felicity poncho, I had to get one myself! I thought I would share a picture of an outfit I pulled together from SWAK to celebrate my anniversary.

This is me wearing the Amber Shrug in black,
over the Gloria Dress in wine
and the Santa Fe Double Buckle Belt

Acceptance Lies Within

I think that I need to make it clear that I am not anti-skinny I am pro-acceptance.

Pro-peace with the battle women have with themselves and with other women.

I want every women to accept their body for what it is, not to war against it.

I want women to be healthy not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

If someone judges my character by the size of my body, then the problems lies with them not ME.

Women set themselves up to fail with adopting a strict " I will never eat that again" and when they do slip, calories are the least of their worries. Then begins the self flagellation of blame and guilt. Why not try to eat healthy and occasionally you can have something you really like in moderation and ENJOY IT.

Since when did weight loss, not a healthier lifestyle, become the key to living a happy and fulfilling life!!

I watched a whole table of women chatise someone because she did not like broccoli and she was dieting. Seriously, if you don't like it don't eat it. I have never liked tomato juice and I can assure you an entire table of my peers cannot shame me into drinking it. I don't care how many vitamins and minerals lie within its murky depths..I cannot tolerate the taste.

This does not mean I am giving up eating healthy.

Same goes for a group of plus sized women assuming a thin girl does not have any problems. I heard a woman remark once "those skinny girls can have whatever they want". That "skinny girl" can be plagued with self doubt and hatred the same as any woman, no matter their size.

We need to embrace our bodies 

We need to accept our differences