What is your personal mantra?

I think that it is important when coming to acceptance of yourself it cannot just be about your physical looks, it needs to happen internally as well. It is great to look beautiful on the outside, but if you are still engaged in the internal struggle of self hatred then you still have a ways to go to achieve peace. I would like to share with you one of the tools I use to help me silence the nagging feelings of doubt. I use a personal mantra.

A mantra comes form Sanskrit and means " a tool/instrument of thought". It can be sounds, syllables, words or groups of words that are repeated with the goals of creating " a positive transformation".
You can say them allowed or voiced internally.  How I use the mantra is I think of something positive about myself and will repeat it several times, almost like a chant to help me feel better about myself, or even a situation I might be in. Think of it as positive self talk.
                                                     Some ideas you could use:
                                                  - I look beautiful today
                                                  - My opinion matters
                                                  - Someone loves me just the way I am
                                                  - I have wonderful friends who support me
                                                  - I am more then numbers on a scale
 Find what works for you and  believe in the power those words hold. You may need to say them several times to gain strength from the mantra and to push past the negative thoughts. It will take some practice, but it can be a tool to banish the negative self talk that comes far too easily to most of us.

SEALED WITH A KISS DESIGNS...Fashion for every budget

Sealed with a Kiss Designs is an american company on a mission. A mission to make plus sized women feel beautiful. They designs clothes that are fierce, trendy and affordable. They know how to respect a women's shape, embrace her curves, and rock out her sex appeal. I have 3 growing boys so not only is my house extremely loud, I don't have a lot of disposable income and I don't want to sacrifice style. With SWAK I don't have to. The clothes range in sizes from 14-36. They ship world wide and if you spend over $75, shipping is free. I recommend signing up for their emails because you will get information on sales and 15% off your first order. They have good quality products, affordable prices and excellent customer service. If you post a fashion related question on facebook, you will often get a personalize response from Sarah, their director of marketing. One of my favorite features is when Sarah models the clothes.  She demonstrates how the clothes work on a real woman's body, creating outfits to suit her frame. I was so influenced by how she pulled off the felicity poncho, I had to get one myself! I thought I would share a picture of an outfit I pulled together from SWAK to celebrate my anniversary.

This is me wearing the Amber Shrug in black,
over the Gloria Dress in wine
and the Santa Fe Double Buckle Belt

Acceptance Lies Within

I think that I need to make it clear that I am not anti-skinny I am pro-acceptance.

Pro-peace with the battle women have with themselves and with other women.

I want every women to accept their body for what it is, not to war against it.

I want women to be healthy not only physically, but mentally and emotionally as well.

If someone judges my character by the size of my body, then the problems lies with them not ME.

Women set themselves up to fail with adopting a strict " I will never eat that again" and when they do slip, calories are the least of their worries. Then begins the self flagellation of blame and guilt. Why not try to eat healthy and occasionally you can have something you really like in moderation and ENJOY IT.

Since when did weight loss, not a healthier lifestyle, become the key to living a happy and fulfilling life!!

I watched a whole table of women chatise someone because she did not like broccoli and she was dieting. Seriously, if you don't like it don't eat it. I have never liked tomato juice and I can assure you an entire table of my peers cannot shame me into drinking it. I don't care how many vitamins and minerals lie within its murky depths..I cannot tolerate the taste.

This does not mean I am giving up eating healthy.

Same goes for a group of plus sized women assuming a thin girl does not have any problems. I heard a woman remark once "those skinny girls can have whatever they want". That "skinny girl" can be plagued with self doubt and hatred the same as any woman, no matter their size.

We need to embrace our bodies 

We need to accept our differences

Fatshionxchange..for those fatshionistas on a budget!

I love clothes! I love shopping for them and putting together new outfits. Unfortunately my budget does not appreciate my shopping habits.  Being a mom of 3 growing boys, I wanted to find a more frugal way to stretch my money as far as possible.  I wanted to get some new items to incorporate into my wardrobe without sacrificing my budget or style. I found Fatshionxchange. This is an online community where you can sell, trade and buy gently used  plus sized second hand clothing.  It is not limited to used clothing, I found several members who sell NWT (new with tags) as well. You have to be a member in order to make a purchase, but there is no cost to sign up. If you are interested in an item, you leave a comment with your postal code (or zipcode) so the seller can let you know what the cost of shipping is. Some members will haggle  on price or you can even offer a trade.  I tried it out and was quite successful. I managed to snag a brand new talbots satin twist tank for 18.60 (us), this including shipping. The original cost of the top was 69.50 (us). The top was exactly as promised. 

 

Check out the site! You may find a great deal or even a way to make a profit cleaning out your closet!

Are you your own worse enemy?

I have had a love/hate relationship with my body since puberty. I think it all started when my breasts started growing at the same rate as my overbite. I felt awkward and ugly and was in constant comparison with others.  I look back at pictures of when I was in my teens and I discovered the girl that was dressed in black clothing, trying desperate to camouflage, was in fact not FAT. Nope, I was a healthy size 14, but at the time I perceived myself as probably being size 20. I would berate myself with horrible names. I am not going to include them here because I am sure you probably have called yourself something similar. As I grew older and struggling with my self esteem, I made several poor choices and continued to try and disappear. I would buy clothes, sometimes a size too big so that nothing touched my body or gave hint to my rolls of flesh. I could of continued like this but luckily for me something started to change in my thought process. I stopped focusing on the negative but looked at the positive in my life. This did not happen over night,was not always effective and I could feel myself every now and again slip back to my destructive thought process. I would regroup and again start reminding myself not to be my worse enemy. Here are some coping strategies that work for me.

1. Do not call yourself any negative name. Ask yourself this, would you allow your best friend to be called horrible mean names...of course not. Why do this to yourself? Become your own best friend. Praise yourself for something positive.

2. Do not say this sentence " Once I lose the weight I will...." What are you waiting for? Don't miss an opportunity to seize your dream. You might never lose the weight and you could lose out on something much more valuable.

3. Buy clothes that fit, not by the number. I currently have jeans that run from size 16 to size 22. They all fit me. Each clothing company has its own model size. You want to look good and no one is going to see that little tag on it but you! Buy clothes that you love to wear and look good on your body now! I get a confidence boost when I am wearing something that embraces my curves.

4. If you are trying to lose weight, don't set a goal number. Again no one but you and your scale will know how much you weigh. Lose weight to be healthy.

5. Don't compare yourself to other women! (this one I still struggle with). A woman who is thin can be struggling with her own body issues.

6. Love the person you are right now!

 You are so much more then a number. Weight does not define you. 

Paint by Numbers Eyes!

I have a secret..sometimes I feel like a failure as woman because I just cannot grasp the knack of applying make up. Maybe I am being a little (a lot) melodramatic but in all seriousness make up is something I find challenging. I  dream of smokey eyes but have never been able to achieve them without some assistance.  I look for products that are easy to apply with possible step by step directions! Well the good people at AVON have heard my cries and have come out with eye shadow palette that even I can use. It is called the Jillian Dempsey for Avon Professionals Perfect Eyes Kit.

It shows you exactly where each colour needs to be applied around your eye for optimal ease!

If you haven't tried avon, check out their website. They have branched out from make up to a variety of products for women..including clothes (some sizes go up to 2X but will cost more then the smaller sizes.)


www.avon.ca
www.avon.com

Foxy Jewelry

FOXY ORIGINALS

Foxy originals is a Toronto based company

that has some beautiful, sometimes funky pieces that will go well with any wardrobe and price range!

DiStOrTeD BoDy ImAgE

I have always had difficulty knowing what size I am. How difficult can that be, surely I can tell by just looking in a mirror. Unfortunately for me, and I know I am not alone, have had difficulty in recognizing my body shape.  I have a tendency to make myself larger then I am. I admit that when I am out with my (ever sweet and patient) husband I will choose random women and ask "am I bigger or smaller" then she is. Poor sweet man and the pressure I have put on him. But what I have found is that I have a tendency of making myself larger then what I am. I have found a website called  My body Gallery. This website allows you to input all your stats, height, weight, pant size, shirt size and body type, search the site and it will find pictures of women with those same stats. The goal of the site is to allow women to have an accurate reflection of what women look like, all women.  

 To quote My Body Gallery.."We are all different in our body shape and size as well as our place in our journey to loving our bodies exactly as they are, not as we (or others) think they should be.

It is a place for us to be kind to others and ourselves."

My Body is not the enemy

I have waged a battle against my body for years. I would call it names, deny it food, hide it  under large voluminous black clothing. I started this battle when there was no reason to. My body was fine, it was the perfect size for me but truly I could not see this. A lot of negative thoughts existed, swirling around in my head. I believed things would be better if I were a few pounds lighter. You know how the sentence begins.."When I am 20 pounds lighter I will....(fill in the blank).  I examined this statement and realized it was never my weight, it was my fear that kept me from trying.  So I have decided that whether I am 120 or 220 I will work towards fulfilling my dreams. Some I will achieve, some I will not but at least I will know I have tried. 

Love yourself the way you are!

Want to eat more fiber..try a brownie!

I know when you think about increasing your fiber intake you probably think about a nice bowl of oatmeal. An increase in fiber in your diet can help lower your cholesterol and decrease your risk for heart disease. But sometimes you are craving that sweet chocolate gooey goodness of brownies. Why not combine both and try BLACK BEAN BROWNIES.

Did you know that 1/2 a cup of black beans has 9.7 grams of fiber? Compare that to 1/2 a cup of rolled oats that has 4 grams. My friend Lesley posted this on her facebook page as something she makes for her kids and I think it is something anyone can enjoy as a treat!

Black Bean Brownies

Prep Time: 10 Minutes Cook Time: 30 Minutes Ready In: 40 Minutes Servings: 16

"These brownies are gluten-, dairy-, and soy free."

INGREDIENTS:

1 (15.5 ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained 3 eggs 3 tablespoons vegetable oil 1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 pinch salt 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 3/4 cup white sugar 1 teaspoon instant coffee (optional) 1/2 cup milk chocolate chips (optional)

DIRECTIONS:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease an 8x8 square baking dish.
2.	Combine the black beans, eggs, oil, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla extract, sugar, and instant coffee in a blender; blend until smooth; pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top of the mixture.
3.	Bake in the preheated oven until the top is dry and the edges start to pull away from the sides of the pan, about 30 minutes.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2012 Allrecipes.com

Printed from Allrecipes.com 1/9/2012

Curvy's guide to the world of online shopping

I love (did I mention) LOVE on line shopping!!! If your are like me and your goal is to be frugal while still maintaining fashion fierceness. let me be your guide. This guide is for all, no matter what your size is...

Step 1: Finding a trustworthy website. Everyone is fearful of being taken advantage. A lot of the places I have shopped have been based on recommendations from friends or on line reviews. On my blog, I will only comment on sites I have personally used. Join their facebook page. Customers will make comments on their experiences dealing with the company. Companies are not perfect, they do make mistakes, items go missing or products can arrive broken. What you look for is how the issue was resolved. If the customer service immediately responds and a solution is reached, that is a sign of a company that cares about their clients. This is what I look for.

2. Always review the shipping. I am located in Canada so before I fall in love with that sweater, I check to see if the company has international shipping! I also check to see is it a flat rate (one cost for all my items) or if it based on weight. If you are lucky some shipping is free or free after you have reached a certain cap. Don't forget that duty and taxes may be added on when your items arrive at your door.(Look for goods that are made in the United States, Mexico, Chile and Costa Rica. These countries have free trade agreements with Canada, and goods made there can usually, but not always, enter Canada duty free.) This part is important, review the return policy! How much is it going to cost you to return that pair of pants that looked good on line but look terrible in reality.

3. SIGN up for their email offers. A lot of companies offer you a  one time percentage off if you agree to receive their emails. These emails are packed full of really good deals, sometimes you get in early on the offer before other consumers do. If you don't want emails cluttering up your regular email, open up a free account such as gmail, yahoo or hotmail and have them sent to a secondary account just for this purpose. 

4. KNOW YOUR SIZE..Measure twice order once! On line companies quite often will have directions on how to measure yourself. You can be a large on one  site and a 2X on another. The number is not important, the proper fit is.

5. If you are shopping outside of your country..know the value of your dollar. Is your dollar worth more, less or on par in the company you are shopping with. I got some amazing deals when my dollar  was worth more then the american dollar. If you don't feel comfortable using a credit card or you don't have one you can use a service like paypal.

6. CLEARANCE..look at the clearance, you can find some fantastic deals there. I have a teenager who eats his weight in food everyday, I need to save money somewhere!

7. My last important rule find a promo code. When you get to ordering page, quite often there will be a box that says Promo code.  Do an internet search, using the words "promo codes" or "online coupons" of the store you want the code for.  You will find several pages dedicated to promo and sales codes. They will even give you the percentages of times the codes have worked.  Try them. I lucked out once doing a search for promo codes for the Australian store Virtu, It was for free international shipping and I saved 30 dollars!. 

If you have any questions, please feel free to leave me a comment!

Acceptance

I am not anti-thin, I am pro acceptance

Forever 21

Forever 21 is having a sale on jackets! 50% off, ONLINE only!! Shipping is free if you spend over $60 dollars.
Selected items only.




FOREVER 21

CITY CHIC

I love on line shopping..to the point it has become almost an addiction. I live in a small southwestern city in Ontario Canada. To be honest, my choice of unique stylish clothes have some limitations. I feel that an entire world of design, fabrics and proper fit became available to me at the click of a button.  I want to share one of my favourites with you.I found Citychic by accident. It was an advertisement on a facebook page. I clicked it and found so many cute affordable clothes I immediately wanted to start ordering. But first I had to do my homework. City Chic is an Australian based company with an american website as well. If you sign up for their email newsletter they send you a code for 30% off. Shipping is free and so far I have never had to pay duties or taxes. Returns free as well! You really need to look at their sizing. It is different then the standard US or UK sizing. For instance I am usually an 2x, in City chic sizing I am a large. Love it! Just follow the link on their site for sizing and they have wonderful videos that teach you how to properly measure yourself.


This is a picture of me wearing my first purchase from CityChic. It was for my son's graduation from public school and I was being vampy! Sadly the dress is not available anymore but there are so many more to choose from!

SEALED WITH A KISS DESIGNS

Sealed with a Kiss Amazing SALE!!!!

 Sealed with a Kiss is an American company that offers plus sized clothes that are fashionable, fun and make me feeling sexy...I am currently wearing their Felicity Poncho Top (it is part of the sale). Over 75 dollars is free shipping. They ship internationally! www.swakdesigns.com

Things that frustrate me about my plusness

So a little time to vent here. A few weeks ago I went and had my physical done by a nurse practitioner. This was my first visit so I anticipated that a conversation would ensue about my weight. ( I have been the same size for the last 10 years). I knew that as a medical professional she would stress to me the importance of healthy eating, exercise and losing weight. I was not disappointed. I could have done the lecture verbatim before she even spoke. I agree that all of those things she suggested are for my optimal wellness. She wanted me to have some blood work done because of the risk of hypertension, high cholesterol, diabetes and she made the assumption that I would have at least something wrong with me. Yesterday I went to get the results of my blood work. As she is reviewing my lab results, something unexpected for the nurse practitioner occurred...my blood work was perfect. She was shocked, some of my levels were actually better then the recommended levels. She then looked at me and told me she was not about to validate my bad habits just because of some blood work. This is what steamed me..she made an assumption that because of my size I must eat unhealthy. That I must be home stuffing my face with cookies and cakes and not moving from the couch. Do I always eat what I should, do I exercise enough? Probably not, but I do in fact do exercise and try to eat healthy. I absolutely have bad habits, I cannot give up coca-cola, but I also take pride in my appearance and strive to what is best for my body. I think it is important no matter what your size is to exercise. PLUS SIZE does not necessarily equate with lazy unhealthy habits. I have included some wellness tips I use. I am not a medical professional so I recommend that you contact your doctor to help you to stay well.

CURVY PLUS ME - Tips for better health


1. Watch out for emotional eating or eating when you are bored. This has been my downfall in the past. You have a bad day and sometimes you seek comfort in food. My suggestion is to call a friend, vent on facebook, write in a journal do something active.
2. Try a glass of water first! Sometimes hunger pangs are actually signs you are dehydrated. Have some water and see if the feelings of emptiness are gone.
3. Exercise when you can. You have a hectic life with trying to balance work, family, and all the other expectations the world has for you. Not everyone can afford to go to the gym. Walk 30 minutes a day, take the stairs when you can, try going to see a person in the office rather then sending an email. One of my favourite exercises is turning on 80's music and dancing around the house. Cleaning the house and sex both count as forms of exercise and if you are really talented maybe you can combine the two.
4. Talk to a dietician to find out what you should be eating. You don't want to go to extremes from maybe eating too much to eating not enough at all.
5. STOP BEING YOUR WORST ENEMY. No more self depreciating, no self loathing or hating. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Develop your self esteem, be proud of who you are right now. Don't utter this sentence.."When I lose ten pounds"..why do that to yourself. Don't allow your weight to ever stop you from achieving your dreams.

Torrid

Torrid is an american company that have amazing sales! I always keep an eye out for anytime there is a clearance.. If you are ordering from Canada be prepared to pay duty if you go over the 25 dollar mark. Shipping usually costs between 25-30 dollars. If you become a frequent shopper sign up for their divastyle rewards program to get extra benefits..be prepared you have to spend 250 dollars US to get the benefits.



They also have 50% of all accessories right now too! (excluding clearance, bras and spanx) TORRID

Ready...Set...Go

Once upon a time I lived my life wearing voluminous, black fabric outfits, hoping to hide my rolls of fat. Hoping that no one noticed me and that someday I would wake up and magically be a size 6. That day never came and I realized that my body was not changing, but my attitude was. I decided that I was going to embrace myself, love my body and my curves. To do that I started first with respecting my body...acknowledging that I needed to learn to wear clothes that fit and I needed to re frame my thinking process. This is my journey and I hope you come with me. I want to celebrate being plus sized.

Never too old or too late to find you way in the plus sized world!